In the hell that is the summer hiatus of television, I find myself watching almost anything in desperation to pass the summer months until we kickoff the fall schedule. NBC’s Windfall is an interesting-enough series, as is America’s Got Talent. I’m also thankful for Entourage, which airs its new episodes over the summer. Lucky Louie is another HBO vehicle that is quite amusing, if for no other reason, than it is a sitcom with a lot of cussing. In any case, in my desperation, I saw an ad in Us Weekly, and turned to the one channel I’ve never watched before, the Scifi Channel, for the series premiere of Eureka.
Eureka is a show about a small town that exists to protect Section 5, a top secret US research facility started by Albert Einstein and President Truman. Section 5 allegedly houses the brightest minds on the planet, a whole town full, and is responsible for developing 99% of everything in the world.
In the pilot episode, US Marshall Jack Carter (Colin Ferguson), is driving his delinquent daughter Zoe (Jordan Hinson), to Los Angeles when he wrecks his standard issue black Crown Vic and gets stranded for a few days in the town of Eureka. Carter soon finds himself investigating strange happenings around town. While spitting out phrases like “I’m just a guy that stops bad guys from doing bad things,†Carter struts around town easily solving problems that even the smartest people in the world and the entire Department of Defense can’t seem to solve.
Jack(ass) Carter
The premise of the pilot is that the world’s smartest quantum physicist has built a spinning machine that screws up time and causes all of the laws of physics to fall apart. The machine must be stopped, but requires a mathematical formula to stop it. That’s truly about all of the information the writers give the audience. Unfortunately, the world’s smartest quantum physicist has been killed by the very machine he created, and the BLACKBOARD on which he kept his top secret, universe-destroying formula has been partially destroyed in an explosion.
This is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen. We have the world’s smartest quantum physicist. He works in the world’s most sophisticated research facility and has flat panel monitors, computers and other hi-tech shit all around him. And this asshole keeps his mathematical formula on a blackboard with no other copies. Luckily one of the other main characters, DOD specialist Allison Blake (Salli Richardson-Whitfield), just happens to have an autistic son. And anyone who’s seen Rainman knows what that means. The kid easily figures out the complex mathematical formula that took years for the world’s smartest quantum physicist to develop. Somehow with the formula, the machine is stopped and the day saved.
I won’t be watching Eureka again. And I can watch almost anything. It took me three tries to get through the pilot. I thought it was just because I was tired, but it was really the cliché characters, marginal acting and weak, hole-filled plot that were tired. Oswald, out.
when are we going to do our television podcast…. we totally should.
so this is what you were doing instead of coming to madison.
Jeremy, I feel your pain with the television options. Home after Knee surgery going nuts. ( only reason i had time to read this too) Miss ya
And wish Entourage was 5 hours long
jeremy, your blog is way more happening than mine. sigh……
Jeremy, you are hilarious! I love your new page and the long hair. It has been way to long since I have seen you and Short. We need to drink some booze next time I am in Fresno or if you guys ever make it down to Santa Barbara…that is where you can find me now!
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[…] In my defense, last week was a terrible TV week, with only a few original shows. It was almost a throwback to last summer, where nothing was on, and so I tried to watch shows like Eureka, Treasure Hunters and whatever that show was that followed 12 people from nothingness to richer nothingness as they won the lottery, cheated on their spouses and discovered how to be tough business people. So because not much was on, and I was recording nothing during that time slot, I deemed The Pussycat Dolls: The Next Doll as temporarily being worth 6% of my DVR storage capacity. […]