Paris Hilton says she’s going celibate. I remember seeing her about six years ago at the Hooter’s in Santa Monica, I think with Brandon Davis (Mischa Barton’s ex). I mean, I wasn’t with Brandon Davis, Paris was. I was just with Short, who, thinking she was leaving when she was just going for a smoke break, reminded her that she left her coat at the table. She rolled her eyes, mumbled something undiscernable under her breath and kept walking. Of course, she’s not the first person, and probably not the last to act that way toward Short at a Hooter’s, but in her case, he was genuinely trying to help. In hindsight, that was definitely a missed opportunity for a really good Paris Hilton story. I should’ve hit on her, then maybe I’d be rich. Or come up with some fantastic story like I used to do in college, and told her I’m a widely read journalist or a NASCAR driver or a truck driver. Speaking of driving truck, I really did want to drive truck for a while. I even went to a recruiting meeting for a trucking company, it just wasn’t in the cards. In any case, if you ever see Paris, just so you know, you don’t have a shot as she’s celibate now. I’m guessing that means girls too.
Thanks Short for telling me to go on the site today and, “YES” this is better than the David Hasselhoff video. With the lighting on the graphics it almost looks as if your hair is graying. Maybe you’re going for the George Clooney look. If so, it works! And I so wish you were a truck driver, then you could toot your horn when you see me on the highway.
So you\’re saying I look like George Clooney? I get that a lot actually.
This has officially become my new favorite site.
George Clooney in ER or George Clooney in Syriana? How about Taylor HIcks. We all know how much Jer-Bear loves his shows. Either way, you’d have to cut your hair to look like either of those guys.
So are you saying that if you WERE truck driver you would have had a shot with Paris Hilton?
Jeremy - How did you get that great picture on the top of your page? I may have a shot with something like that on my myspace page…
George Clooney in Ocean’s Eleven. Or that movie with J Lo where he’s a cop or something like that. And although I do sing really greatly, I’m much more George than Taylor.
I would have a shot with Paris if I were a garbage man. Not that I’m better than a garbage man. In fact, I have a friend who is a garbage man.