Browsing reddit yesterday, I came across a story about a group of 10-15 people who walked into a Taco Bell in Indiana to return 25,000 fire sauce packets they’d been storing in their car. They felt guilty. I have mixed feelings about these people.
On one hand, good for them. I don’t know how many times I’ve been through the Taco Bell drive thru, specifically requested “a lot of fire sauce,” and I get three sauces for my six tacos. Extra taco sauce in multiple locations is a good thing.
On the other hand, they’re stupid. Six 40-gallon trash bags full of taco sauce, stored in a car for three years. I’ve seen Taco Bell taco sauce dry out in a matter of months. Did they think Taco Bell would trust that they didn’t contaminate the sauce in some way? Speaking of which, I bought a Vons frozen pizza the other day, and it was only when I got home that I realized my pizza had been compromised. The plastic wrap around the outside is ripped. I’m still going to eat it. That’s why when people talk about me they say I live on the edge.
I remember when Taco Bell sauce came in the old plastic containers that were more akin to McNugget sauce containers, except translucent and not as deep. I heard that Taco Bell sauce could clean pennies. It does.
Really though, Taco Bell is my all-time favorite restaurant, and I think of Glen Bell often. Nothing short of genius, he’s given this country a great gift, and his delicious tacos deserve to be readily available throughout the world. That being said, I can think of no other time that I’ll be given a forum to talk openly to Taco Bell without wasting the time to call that number on the screen that gives me my total or risking spit in my food for offering constructive criticism on-site, so I’ll take the opportunity now. Here are my suggestions to improve Taco Bell:
- Let me walk through the drive-thru. McDonald’s has informed me that it’s easier to rob a drive-thru late at night when you walk through instead of driving through, but really, how often does that happen? You force my hand and I either end up at 7-11 eating dried out taquitos and hot dogs, or jumping into a car with random strangers, ending up in the Napa ghetto drinking warm screwdrivers with my shoes off. Let me walk through, pay for my food and be on my way. Or even better…
- Deliver. Add a surcharge. It’ll work, and our cities will be safer for it.
- Bring back the Taco Bell Grande. Extra large taco supreme, circa 1989. And while you’re at it, 39 cent tacos on Sundays.
- Let Taco Bell be Taco Bell. KFC, Long John Silver’s and Pizza Hut Express have no business being in the same building as a Taco Bell. Maybe Pizza Hut Express, but I have to be real hungry.
- For people like Jonathon Short, you might think of a financing plan, or layaway.
- Preserve your heritage. The original buildings had so much character. The bell was awesome. What’s with the funky shaped purple buildings?
- Implement a policy to double check drive thru orders. You may have done this already within recent years, as I’ve noticed drive thru accuracy has skyrocketed. But in case you just got lucky, I’m telling you to run some quality assurance measures to promote drive thru accuracy.
I may seem harsh, but truly my suggestions are done out of love. If you’d like to become a part of the Taco Bell fan club (it exists), click here.
While we are bringing back items from the bygone era of Ronald Reagan, George Michael and Magic Johnson, let me have my 10-pack taco’s in the handy carrying case.
Lin, envious of Oswald who is currently at Taco Bell.
Taco Bell pricing.
What happened to the days where you could go to “T Bell” and order 8 items and it would cost $2.29. Now you go there and order 4 items and it costs 10 bucks. Like the NFL salary cap, the Bell should introduce a cost cap. No matter how many items you order it will only cost 5 dollars. I know this goes against everything or economic system stands for, but a man can dream can’t he. Oh, and Dan the “Grande Meals” of your choice of 10 tacos, bean burritos, and soft tacos was sheer genius and should be brought back ASAP…….for 5 dollars. Oh how I love me some late night Taco Bell goodness.
10 pack of tacos to go. A perfect order. I think the reason taco bell has become much more expensive is because of the stuff we don’t want. I’ve seen many places where they demolish the old Taco Bells and put up a new ugly one in its place. And by including the KFCs, Long John Silver’s and Pizza Hut Expresses, shouldn’t they acheive some economies of scale, and be able to get back to the pricing we loved?
I once watched Dan eat a soft taco in one bite. And I have every bit of confidence that Vinnie has done the same at some point in his life.
A whole soft taco? Small beans. Has dan ever done 2 slices of pizza in one bite? That is skill.
I disagree. 2 slices of pizza in one bite is more ‘physics’ than ’skill’. impressive physics nonetheless.
Taco bell is the perfect food. I am glad to see there are others who feel the same way. From one T-bell fan to another, check out www.tbellnation.com. We are trying to get 1,000,000 memebrs and get the attention of corporate T-Bell to, among other things, promote the T-Bell Challenge, where a team of 8 to 11 people eat the entire menu. If you have questions, e-mail me..if you like what you see on tbellnation.com, spread the word. Thanks and go Taco Bell.
Here is the link if you are interested. www.tbellnation.com