Tonight the 58th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards were held at Los Angeles’ Shrine Auditorium. Last time I was at the Shrine Auditorium, Cheri Oteri took a drunken header into the chair next to me, I got close enough to all three Charlie’s Angels asses (2000 version) that I truly could’ve kissed them and I was hit on by a male reporter from Rolling Stone, among other things.
The problem with the Shrine is that when you get there, they don’t tell you there’s a bar. And that’s really not fair when Creed is performing. Had I known about the bar, best case scenario, I would’ve timed one of my bar trips to coincide with the Creed performance. Worst case scenario, I still would’ve had to sit through the Creed drivel, but I would’ve enjoyed it more, or at least been a bit funnier to those around me when it came to my distaste for the band, as I would’ve had a couple of expensive domestics or cheap glasses of wine coursing through my veins.
But no, I had to find out during a commercial break late in the game that there was, in fact, a bar. I should’ve known, given that Christina Aguilera and her big hair walked by me every 10 minutes with drinks. I just thought that celebrities were served in some magical room. I didn’t realize until later that she was hitting the bar like everyone but me. When I finally discovered that the bar was available, I made sure to get there, but unfortunately was not allowed to walk back to my seat until the next commercial break and so I missed Joe and Mystikal’s fantastic performance of “Stutter.†I could see it through the window to the auditorium because the security guard had the curtain open, but had I been in my seat in the 5th row aisle, it would’ve been much better. But hey, at least I saw Creed that close up, I could actually feel the heat from the flames that shot up during “Higher.â€
But yeah, the Emmy awards were held tonight, and not much good came from them. Really, it was a big NBC commercial. Not only was it aired on NBC so the actual commercials were for all of their shows, but a lot of the presenters were promoting new shows or the new season of a show. Even Howie Mandel and Deal or No Deal presented one of the awards by having the winner revealed through one of those silver cases that holds a dollar amount. There was a touching tribute to Dick Clark and one to Aaron Spelling. Arrested Development won nothing, which sucked. And there were plenty of comments about the presenters getting taxed on their gift baskets. One estimate on E! tonight put the value of the gift baskets at $51,000.
On a positive note, Conan O’Brien did a good job as host. Also, 24 had a big win for Outstanding Drama Series and an Emmy for Kiefer Sutherland for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series.
I for one am glad that the Academy of Television Arts and Science realizes the badass that is Jack Bauer. And Audrey Raines looked hot. I’ve always thought she looks a little odd on 24, but not so at the Emmy Awards. The Office won for Outstanding Comedy Series and Jeremy Piven won for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series for Entourage. At one point I thought I saw Vera from Alice in the crowd.
Also on a positive note, my Emmy party was a smashing success. The water was flowing freely, my Safeway Select pasta was delicious and I was great company for myself.
congrats on a job well done.
Audrey looked way hot! So did Pam from the Office. I want to give her an evaluation…if you know what I mean.
Why do you take the jokes away from us by making fun of yourself? Preemptive strike? Asshole.
I totally know what you mean Vinnie. You want to meet with her and go over a checklist of items including her overall job performance, her understanding of her job responsibilities, her promptness, her customer service, what she\’s happy with about her job and areas in which she may need improvement, her communication skills and work with her to identify measurable employee goals. You may also give her a raise, if you know what I mean.
You hit the nail on the head. And by giving her a raise I know exactly what you mean. After going over her evaluation and looking at the pros and cons and any cost of living increases, she would then be entitled to a dollar to a dollar twenty five raise. She would be so happy that maybe I could get her alone and work on our communication, if you know what I mean.
Oh I\’m picking up what you\’re putting down Vinnie. You\’ll get her alone and work on her communication skills including her interpersonal interaction, email skills, the power of listening, her ability to communicate change and her needs in the workplace. Come to think of it, communication is a great start to an agenda for a retreat. You, her, a getaway out of town, maybe somewhere on the coast where you can really focus and get down to business, if you know what I mean.
Oh I’m buying what you are selling. You’ll get her to the coast. Darken the lights to set the mood maybe light a candle or 2. Then turn on the projector to show her the powerpoint presentation that you put together regarding team building. Everyone knows that a team environment is the only way to run a business. Then take her to a nice quiet dinner at a very fancy restaurant. Then take her by the hand and say……… “I think we can turn this business into a Fortune 500 company.” Once back to the hotel, open up a nice bottle of wine. Look at her with a come hither stare and then lean in and wisper into her ear, “I really like the font you used on the reports, Is that Courier Gothic? Then things will really start to heat up, if you know what I mean.
It worries me when you have a party by yourself and you eat Noodles….Hmmmmmmm! See you Friday…
I don’t really know what you mean.