JeremyOswald.com

Claudio Paulo Pinto can pop his eyeballs out over 0.3 inches. But he still doesn’t hold the World Record. That distinction is held by an American from Chicago. The ability to pop your eyeballs out of your head is called global luxation.

Global luxation schmobal luxation, this guy really does remind me of Large Marge from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure and Large Marge has always scared the shit out of me. I was only 10 when Pee Wee’s Big Adventure came out and so Large Marge could be pretty scary (I don’t recall when Pee Wee himself came out, ask Geil). Within the last year or so while flipping through the channels, I saw Pee Wee’s Big Adventure and specifically the Large Marge scene. This is what it looks like:

This looks nothing like a human. It’s not scary at all. It seems like lately a lot of things aren’t as I remember. I have the first 3 seasons of the Dukes of Hazzard on DVD. Entertaining, but not life changing. I used to dress like Luke Duke, wear a big belt buckle, cowboy boots and flannel shirts when I was little in an effort to be more like Luke Duke. Why Luke instead of Bo? I have no effing idea. I think it had to do with which one I would really want to be, if I had to could possibly be one. In one episode, Bo did something that didn’t sit well with me. I don’t recall what, but I do remember that there was no doubt that I would rather be Luke than Bo. But yeah, the plots aren’t nearly as believable as what I remember, the acting is terrible and every episode is predictable.

Knight Rider is another example. By the way, Alice Nunn, the actress who played Large Marge, was also in an episode of Knight Rider. I couldn’t wait to watch Knight Rider again after 20 years. I have the first two seasons on DVD. While it’s fun to watch an episode or two and remember my Sunday nights in front of the TV eating homemade pizza, it’s really not a program I can just sit and watch without something else going on.

Looking at Large Marge’s career, she really had a great run. WKRP in Cincinnati, Murder She Wrote, Who’s That Girl, and my favorite, Misfits of Science, which I still think of as one of the best programs on television, ever.

I think it was Misfits of Science that was my first experience with a show that I loved and followed religiously, only to have it cancelled, leaving me heartbroken. Misfits of Science starred Dean Martin’s son but I can’t remember his name (Dean, Jr. perhaps?), the father from Alf and Courtney Cox when she was still a teenager. The show was about a group of people with different abilities, from shrinking to shooting lightning bolts to using brainwaves to move inanimate objects. The group rode all over in an ice cream truck, fighting bad guys. I still have the pilot episode and possibly one other episode my father taped for me using our brand spankin’ new VCR. I haven’t watched either in years, and I’m a little worried. I don’t want to experience another feeling of profound disappointment, like when Pee Wee discovered that the Alamo lacks a basement.