JeremyOswald.com

My friend Manda never really writes just to say hi.  But occasionally I’ll get emails from her out of the blue.  Like once, she sent me a series of pictures of herself with no real explanation.  I liked one of the pictures so much I made it my wallpaper on my computer, which got a lot of laughs.  That is, until Short borrowed my computer for a presentation at work and 23 health insurance brokers saw a huge projected image of this photo, that Manda dubbed “fishcrackers1″:

Her odd fish cracker habits notwithstanding, I really mean to call her more often.  Her husband spends a lot of his time riding around in a van with three other guys playing seedy bars and a Playstation.  I tried to establish a rule of calling every three days just to stay caught up.  That lasted one day.

Manda has wanted to start a Website called “EverythingAmanda.com” from which to sell various things that she loves.  Yesterday I received this email from her:

“Subject:  Everythingamanda.com

I dropped the ball.

A socialite drag queen now owns MY domain name and my dreams of watching source code turn into dollar signs as millions of consumers add awesome items to their Everything Amanda shopping cart, all of which would scream my style, have been transformed like an unwanted penis to an unshapely labia.

Unless you want an album called Fierce Pussy with toe-tapping tracks like “Tranny Traction” and “My Hair Looks Fierce”.  Then my laziness has paid off for you.”

“Unwanted penis to an unshapely labia.”  Never knew that those words in that combination would make my day.

In any case, I checked out everythingamanda.com, and just as Manda noted, the site is owned by Amanda Lepore, who I had never heard of, but is apparently quite well known in some circles.  Knowing that Manda has nothing without her dreams, and having spent a fair amount of time on godaddy over the past 36 hours, I thought I’d give her a few suggestions for names for her site, so she can watch “source code turn into dollar signs.”

1. EverythingManda.com - It’s available, plus it’s more accurate since no one calls her “Amanda” anyway.  And, if one of Amanda Lepore’s fans mistypes the domain, Manda could sell “Fierce Pussy” herself and make some additional bucks.
2. RobotWilliams.com - Amanda has a thing for robots.  Everythingrobot was taken, but I think giving a robot a surname might just be crazy enough to work.  She doesn’t just have to have robot stuff there either, she can still sell everything from old vinyls to frito boats to Red Bluff memorobilia.
3. FishCrackers.com - It’s available as a premium domain, meaning it’s gonna cost her 600 big ones.  But, I’m sure she could move an obscene amount of Goldfish, and possibly even become a drop shipper.  She’d be rolling in the money.  My favorite Goldfish flavor is original.  She could even buy them for her nose wholesale.   

Since not many people put stock in my Website ideas, please feel free to help Manda by offering your own suggestions.